


Falling from Above

by Ursa_99



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Attempt at angst, Clarke doesn't deserve such cruelty, Clarke is going to be pissed, Jaha is an inspiration to us all--whether it's to be like him or not to be like him, Murphy and Raven are not nice, OOC, didn't know where to put this so it's in bellarke tab, possibly more than a one shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2020-08-11 01:28:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20145310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ursa_99/pseuds/Ursa_99
Summary: It would not be the first time she burned for them, but it would be her last





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke was taking stock of the medicine that remained in the ship for the hundred and twenty-five years they’ve been asleep. The medical room gave her a place to hide, to think, to just escape and comprehend what happened.

Harper and Monty didn’t go into cryo.

True.

They also had a kid.

True enough.

At least two of the hundred were able to live to their natural life. Clarke had to take a step back. Two, two out of a hundred and two sent down to die lived their natural life, hell they even were able to have their own family.

Now how many were left? Six.

Her, Murphy, Miller, Octavia, Bellamy, and Raven.

Everyone else had a light sleep of one hundred twenty-five years.

Still processing.

…

Something hit the door to the medical area. Instinctually she slid to the far side wall away from sight of anyone coming in.

Hushed voices filtered in but when she realized it was just Raven and Murphy she eased up.

“Hey” she greeted wearily, only taking a few steps forward; Clarke was aware that any relationship that was still there was strained after what happened in Eden. “Did you need anything”

The two looked shocked to see her, which was weird. It was almost like an automatic understanding, the medical area was hers, the bridge was like a common room for everyone though it was where Bellamy mostly hung out, Raven stayed to her own area where Eligius held their machinery, and the hallways were Murphy’s domain.

Murphy cocked his head at her like the inquisitive birds she’s seen in the valley, the ones that didn’t quite know what she and Madi were.

“Yeah…”

Faster than she’s ever seen him before Murphy rocketed his fist into her stomach, maybe if she saw it coming, she could have tightened her stomach muscles and lessened the damage or dodge. She saw Murphy out of the corner of her eye raise his fists in the air before bringing them down on her upper back.

She hit the floor and bounced several times.

Damn she didn’t know the cockroach had a kick to him.

Clarke curled forward on herself dry heaving, maybe there was some specks of blood…good thing she didn’t eat that much algae.

The pain dazed her long enough that it took her a second to notice the metal that was clipped around her throat.

Her eyes rolled up towards Raven’s but there was only anger and disgust on the woman’s face. How far have they fallen from one another? Raven used to be her sister, maybe not of blood, but still.

“Payback’s a bitch” the mechanic hissed.

“So’s karma” Clarke whispered in agreement, she wondered if either of them heard her or if she said anything at all when the shock collar controller was raised. She wasn’t sure who pulled the trigger, maybe it was both, but she was sure her screaming was all her own.

…

Clarke hissed when she came to. She tried opening her own eyes but regretted it instantly when her world started spinning sideways and backwards.

Clenching her eyes shut she hissed out breaths of air doing her best to refrain from vomiting up stomach acid.

She didn’t know how long she waited but when she opened her eyes again to find her world still spinning, she decided the best thing to do was to close her eyes again.

She fell back asleep without noticing she was tied to a table.

…

The next time she opened her eyes she was still alone surrounded by cold metal and makeshift straps of chain and wires. Trying to move forward proved to be useless when she hit her head against something.

“Argh!” She hit her fist against the clear rounded shield, or tried to with the little room she was given, it was smooth and did little more than split two of her knuckles. It was a sheet from a cryo pod, why she was in here was totally up in the air but if the anger she felt from Raven or Murphy was anything to go by she wasn’t going to live much longer.

Though, jury is out whether or not she’ll try to do anything, and as much as she hatted the thought of leaving Madi behind Clarke couldn’t help but think it would be good for Madi to not have such a disaster near her.

No, _no_ she couldn’t think like that, Monty and Harper told them to do better. Laying with her belly to the sky and throat exposed wouldn’t fix anything.

At least she was tied vertically, though a tad bit slanted backwards.

She lifted her arms again making the chains jingle, running her hands across the cryo glass didn’t yield any weakness, no doubt Raven’s work…she must really want the great _Wanheda _dead.

For a second Clarke lifted her leg pondered about kneeing the damn glass but decided she didn’t want to shatter her kneecap, but lifting her lower appendage did lead her to discovering that she was also chained by the waste and the feet. There were also canisters in the metal coffin that she couldn’t quite read.

Alright, plan B, continuing to pound away and scream till someone, favorable more friendly, comes along and is hopefully willing to get her out.

…

When Clarke saw something move, and it turned out to be a person, she expected them to be _anyone_ but Echo. Hell, even Octavia coming to kill her would have made sense. But the grounder she barely knew except for when she tried to kill her after A.L.I.E. was something she didn’t expect.

“Clarke? Clarke! What are you doing in—why are you tied up” the Azgeda spy asked the confusion evident on her face. From the look of it Echo wasn’t just pretending on being shocked, she actually didn’t know why she was stuck in a makeshift cryopod turn coffin.

“Hey, Echo, you apart of this too” Clarke asked, more out of a sick sense of humor and panic setting in than anything else.

“No…I wasn’t”

Clarke could see the spy’s eyes scanning her coffin, though there wasn’t much to see besides hunks of metal keeping her encased in the cryopod.

“Clarke” Echo was looking at her, and for once Clarke wished she saw anger in the spy’s eyes, instead she found something else, fear.

“Please tell me you know how to deactivate a countdown on an airlock”

Clarke wondered what her expression looked like, if it had a similar look to Echo’s own or if it was like the indifference of shock that colored her words,

“Normal yes, with a raging aerospace mechanic I’m gonna go with no”

…

The clink of a sword caused Clarke to jump hitting her head in her new coffin.

“So” She hissed, “What brought you to this side of the ship Echo”

The spy just looked at her and went back to trying to break the glass, it wasn’t till Clarke got a better look that she realized that not only was there the pane of glass that composed the cryopod’s face but there was a sheet of glass, thick glass, that separated her cryopod from the rest of the ship.

Her new cryopod was in an airlock.

Ah, the age old saying of _go float yourself. _

“Clarke, you’re going to have to help me, Emori was Raven’s apprentice not me”

Clarke let her forehead rest against the glass, she didn’t know old tech not like that on the Ark and what she did know was from her father; she couldn’t help but smile at the irony, at least her father got floated for trying to save people.

“Echo” She did her best to remember how the Ark wiring worked, but she didn’t hold her breath, to many decades separated Diyoza’s tech from her own.

“There _might _be a panel to either the left or the right, it won’t have buttons for codes but switches”

The spy sheathed her sword before she looked left but turned right. Echo’s voice seemed like she was whispering but Clarke knew Echo was probably shouting, something even _she_ knew Echo didn’t do unless necessary,

“Is it supposed to be seven feet tall?”

Well…Clarke really couldn’t say yes, this was Diyoza’s ship not her own.

“Describe it Echo”

There was second before the spy jumped back into her view maybe to not have to shout as much or maybe it was to read her body language, a skill that even she couldn’t get rid of. It helped her save Madi more than once in the valley.

“Um…”

Clarke never thought she’d hear a grounder, much less someone so controlled and experienced under pressure as Echo say ‘um’.

“There is a very large section of wall composed of buttons and switches, there are several places for keys to be inserted. On the inside of the door there are half a dozen keys, three of which are gone or there just weren’t any keys there in the first place. There are several labels, most of which have to deal with wiring, that much I do know…but”

Maybe they can work with that.

“Okay, is there anything that says direct access or mechanical operation, or maybe something about manual override?”

Echo disappeared from her sight again, already Clarke could feel the fear of being left alone. It felt like forever before Echo came back.

“There is something called Auto Lock Captures but the screen under every air lock says manual analog override”

Clarke banged the back of her head against the bed that she was tied to, it didn’t hurt at least not as much as the cryo glass but the bed she slept on for a hundred twenty-five years wasn’t so soft either.

“I’m guessing you know what that means” The drawl only had a hint of amusement amongst the confusion.

She couldn’t help the sardonic laugh that bubbled forth, she vaguely wondered if Echo could hear her or if she looked like a mad woman cackling silently,

“Yeah, that means Raven override the circuits for all the air locks, possibly the rest of this shuttle too if I were to guess”

Echo looked taken aback, as if Clarke personally insulted her mother or King, “Raven is a part of this”

“And Murphy”

Echo didn’t look surprised at the addition of the cockroach though, the universal rule: where trouble is Murphy will be.

“Okay so I get Raven to reengage the auto controls and reverse whatever she’s done”

Clarke thought about it, there was a snowball’s chance in hell that Raven was going to help her, and given by the results of their last encounter she knew Raven would sooner rather than later float her into the abyss of space,

“How much time is left” she asked.

She watched Echo’s brows furrow, the quick morph of her face trying to conceal the concern and anxiety to indifference did nothing to her trained eye.

When Echo didn’t say anything, Clarke knocked on her glass with the back of a knuckle, they were wasting time whether they had it or not “Just tell me”

“Fifteen minutes”

Of course, she did

…

“I’m going out on a limb and say let’s not get Raven”

Echo nodded; it was automatic response to search for the mechanic when there was a tech problem. This may be a problem, but it was created by Raven so…

“So, we get Jordan and cut the wires”

“No!” Clarke shouted, “cutting the wires on a ship this old could lead to detachment of interlocking pieces, snap freeze us, a hell of a lot more stuff, or it could open all the air locks at once killing everyone inside”

She could hear the growl come through the two glass panes, “So we get Jordan, have him override Raven’s work”

But it wouldn’t be that simple, she didn’t know Jordan’s knack for electronics though it was probably on par with his fathers, or possibly better, but he didn’t have the experience of hacking that Raven did.

Even if he did Raven would have fire walls in place, she wasn’t stupid. Clarke didn’t know how much time has passed, but given the different attire from Echo it had been at least a day cycle.

“Do you have a radio, if not, how long did it take you to get here”

She could see the agitation that was crawling up the spy’s face, no matter how grateful Clarke was that Echo hadn’t left, yet at least, she didn’t want to drag Jordan into this; Raven was mad enough to either get Murphy to help or Murphy got her to meaning there was a dangerous combination that was waiting to blow. If Jordan helped her, she wasn’t so sure they wouldn’t retaliate and lash out.

Besides, Monty told them to do better, more importantly he and Harper told them to watch out for Jordan. That especially means not dragging him into her problems.

“I could run” Echo offered.

Clarke almost laughed at the woman, well not at her, but the pout on her face. It was something Bellamy would often do when he realized what he wanted to do wouldn’t work no matter how hard he tried, even he knew how bad his own idea was.

“And how long did it take you to get here, since this is an air lock it would be at _least _five minutes from any other point on the ship”, well five minutes if you run. At full speed, might Clarke add.

Echo just leaned against the wall; arms crossed with her pout growing deeper, Clarke would almost describe it as cute, a bit like Madi when she didn’t get what she wanted. Maybe it was a grounder thing.

“Doesn’t matter, I can make it” Echo grunted out.

_Famous last words_ Clarke thought with a small grin.

“Then what do you suppose I do Wanhe—Clarke”

Clarke took a step forward, basically it was as far as she could go, craning her neck she did her best to look around. In her father’s old books there were old blueprints of ships long past, or so everyone thought, no one knew of Diyoza’s crew; in the old models every part of the ship was connected with panels that separated out and closed off parts of the ship, not unlike what her mother told her that happened to section 17 when they first landed and the Ark was still in desperate need of Oxygen.

“Check the air vents” Seeing the frown Clarke pointed up with her chained wrists clinking, “This isn’t like the Ark Echo, all parts of the ship are connected only small thick panels separate out the different parts”

It’s why there were so many deaths in the first couple hundred attempts at space travel. The panels were designed to activate automatically with drops in oxygen or temperature fluctuations, it only took a couple dozen times to get it correct, but if Raven turned the controls on manual it was possible that they were left open and had to be manually reengaged.

Or they were stuck in the off position and everyone was slowly dying of carbon dioxide poisoning Like the Ark, but Spacekru didn’t have an idiot best friend to release three months of oxygen to get on board the dropship.

Surprisingly, Echo didn’t fight her, hell she hadn’t done that at all since she found her locked in Raven’s contraption. For fear of being left permanently or pissing the spy off Clarke left it alone, but it nagged at the back of her mind. The so simple question but unknown complex answer of _why _danced around in her head.

The slender form of Echo disappeared once again, the ceiling eating away her torso and gradually all the way down to her feet. Clarke counted.

One, two, three. Finally, four.

It took four minutes for Echo to come back, so she was down to eleven minutes max. That wasn’t taking into consideration the amount of time they spent talking.

Echo dropped from the ceiling, her eyes shooting for the clock. The deepening frown on her face telling Clarke all she needed to know.

“They’re blocked, I tried prying them open but they didn’t budge. I don’t have any tools, and the ones I do know of don’t look like they fit…I’m sorry”

Clarke didn’t expect the idea to work but it did giver her a false sense of hope, and she was still breathing, so she just needed to find another way out.

She turned to the Azgeda spy putting as much gratitude and sincerity in her voice, because it wasn’t a lie and Clarke knew most people would have just stood by and watched,

“It’s not your fault Echo, there is no need to apologize”

The other woman nodded, almost looking sad be it from her being unable to find a way out for her or because she couldn’t find a way out of this tight situation Clarke didn’t know.

“What do you want me to do, I don’t have any new ideas besides trying to get thought the door via force and dragging you out”

Clarke shrugged, almost nonchalant, and she made herself believe she wasn’t afraid. Though that was hard to do with the chime of her restraints and the shaking of her hands,

“Good enough plan as any”

Echo wasn’t the only one out of ideas.

…

Turns out neither of them had any good ideas and so began the struggle of Echo trying to get through the outer door via sword hits and trying to pry it open; Clarke for her part kept searching for weak points in the deked out cryo pod, but like other pieces of Raven’s work they had a way of screwing the opposing party over.

It didn’t help when Clarke thrashed around and stabbed herself with something, when she pulled it out, she realized it was a key.

One that only released her legs from each other, they didn’t open the cuffs on her wrist or release her from the bed.

She was looking around for more keys, even daring to throw her body all over the inside of the pod in hope of being stabbed with another key.

It was with a sharp cry when she felt another key _shoot _through the outer most part of her side just above the hip tearing skin and leather alike. Clarke hissed looking for the projectile that Raven used as a fucking boobytrap, Clarke must have triggered a pressure sensor or set off a switch, surprised that didn’t go through the table that started grinding into her back.

“Echo what the hell are you doing!”

Clarke and the woman in question looked at each other, the frown on the latter’s face quickly turned into a glare as she turned, sword still raised but this time on the two who entered the hallway.

“Raven, Murphy” Echo hissed, “That should be my _line_”

…

No matter how hard Clarke pounded against the glass separating her from those she once called family, it wouldn’t budge.

Echo was the only one trying to pry open the door, after turning back to her in favor of ignoring her family, it wasn’t the first time the spy tried to help her—well more like stop the rest from bullying her—but where the Azgeda’s words worked before they did nothing to convince those around her to let her out.

Clarke looked at the timer, which popped up on the inside of the crypt she was in when it reached the count down from five minutes; ticking away with its mocking face.

She had three minutes left.

“Raven open this door!” bellowed Echo.

Raven backed up, wary of the spy who they lived with for six years, _correction_ one hundred and thirty-one years.

“No” it was simple and easy, as if some asked if Raven liked pickled beets. “No, like you said she left Bellamy to die. Why are you not so adamite about letting the traitor die like you were in Eden? Monty and Harper are dead because of _her_, the only survivable land was destroyed because of her, the great _Wanheda. _How mortal are you feeling now Clarke”

Clarke felt a hysterical laugh trying to force its self from her esophagus, she might have killed and fucked up more than anyone else in the entire existence of humans, but she wasn’t the only.

Raven and Murphy both had their fair share of faults and kills. At least when she killed, she had the decency to look them in the eye, if not in their general direction, but _them_, they couldn’t even look a fifth of the way in her direction.

And they call her the coward.

Echo hissed curses under her breath that would have Roan frowning in distaste. The door wasn’t moving, the shutdown code wouldn’t do anything this far into the launch sequence even if Raven was _willing_ to let the her live and give them the code.

“Enough”

It was quiet, tired, accepting and all encompassing…

Echo looked to Clarke, the person she swore she’d kill to avenge the betrayal to Bellamy, but Clarke looked more done than anything, a look she’s seen on her late king too many times in the past.

“Echo, enough” Clarke had the same tone that Roan held long ago. As much as she hated to admit it Clarke and Roan were leaders and knew the costs of war, that also made them the most unpredictable at the best of times.

She ignored the mountain slayer, pushing her sword between the doors that stood between her and the blonde, but no matter how hard she strained or pushed it wouldn’t budge. In the time it took for Raven and Murphy to show she only chipped her sword and a speck of a speck in the door.

“Damn it Echo, stop!” Clarke yelled, almost as if she was right next to her.

She lowered her sword arm till it dangled by her side, it was past chipped and slightly warped. There was no dent in the seal of the door besides that microscopic scratch that wouldn’t compromise anything. Much less the sarcophagus they put her in on the other side.

Echo glared at the blonde sheathing her sword.

“Thank yo—”

“For the Commander of Death, you seem too at easy in Death’s embrace” she bit out. Echo didn’t want to think of how Bellamy would take to his favorite traitor being dead, actually dead instead of romping through the shell of humanity with another night blood or stalking the infirmary.

Clarke only smiled at her fondly for some reason, as if they were old friends.

“I’ve had plenty interactions, so many that now that I know I can greet it like an old friend…”

The clock screeched at them from both sides, one and half minutes left. No way to stop the countdown and no way out.

“Echo” it was almost a plead.

She looked at the blonde, her face starting to show signs of panic that only a trained eye can see, “Look after Madi”

It wasn’t a request but a soft demand.

She frowned, as if Echo would let anything happen to the child. “I swore to protect Heda with my life, I will not go back on my promise”

To her surprise Clarke seemed to calm down at her admittance.

“Good at least one of you can keep a promise”

Murphy threw a metal rod at the door, missing her just barely; Clarke only closed her eyes as if Murphy only yelled and didn’t throw a four-foot-long piece of metal in her direction.

Then again if neither of them could get through what would Murphy’s stick do.

“You’re a fuckin’ coward Griffin, you left _us_, not the other way around. You—”

“I was chained to a fucking wall as Bellamy put the flame in Madi” she shouted. Echo wondered just how bad the blonde’s throat hurt from the yelling, for the most part she had read Clarke’s lips to understand her, but she seemed to easily hear them.

Clarke was _tired_ of all the hate she was getting, as if none of them fucked up. She’d have enough, in her last seconds she would not take their blows, they would take hers.

“I made a deal to share the valley with Diyoza, _my_ valley, _Madi’s _valley; but Octavia refused, war was on the horizon so I made the idea of killing Blodreina, Bellamy said no so I stopped and stepped back…but when I was chained to the wall he told me he was going to give Madi the flame instead of getting me out so we could think of something else, the stupid piece of crap that gave her nightmares for _years. _The piece of tech that _still _gave me nightmares long after it was in my head”

She could see Spacekru starting to bristle at her, no doubt going to come up with some other form of verbal abuse but she pushed forward.

“He _promised_ we would go to the valley _together_ and get you guys, but instead he left me tied up. Yes, I left him to die in the fighting pits, and that will be my greatest mistake, but he was the one to betray me first…I did what I thought was right for my peop—person, if that’s so wrong then so be it”

If she’d looked more to her right, she’d have seen Echo regard her with a second of sympathy, those words were not terribly different to what she’d given them on the day of Praimfaya.

“McCreary fired the rockets, you had just as much ample time to kill him as I did, Murphy. Hell, you’re the one who put him in charge. Just as Octavia could have agreed to an armistice, or Miller agreeing to peace when she was knocked out. We are _all_ to blame for what happened”

Clarke didn’t mean to but she found herself hissing at the people on the other side of her door towards the end. She couldn’t tell though if their bulging eyes were from her confession or from her audacity to just _now_ start firing back at them.

She’d never know.

Another shrill sound came from the clock. Thirty seconds.

“Echo”

The spy regarded her with a slight glare, but something swam behind the woman’s eyes, too deep to find out in the seconds they had left.

Clarke sighed, “Watch Maddi, very few know the damages that the flame causes, Bellamy being one despite just wanting to keep Eden alive. Sometimes the biggest danger is yourself…”

The spy nodded to her, stepping back from the doors that would give her the same fate as her father, back where everything all started.

Clarke could only thank all the deities that were ever conjured from humans and their fear of the afterlife, that Jordan or her mother wouldn’t see this, and that Madi was still in cryo.

She looked over Spacekru, their own betrayal in front of her, their once deflected looks now locked onto her.

“May we meet again” Raven muttered the words their people were so accustomed to saying on the ground, whether they hated each other or not, Clarke noticed she looked sick to her stomach her glare weakening from the sight before her.

Maybe Raven would finally understand the price of taking a life when you have the upper hand but mercy would lead to the death of those you love. Loved.

They were really doing this; she was letting this happen. No matter if what Clarke said was true or not, that she and Bellamy both betrayed each other, there was no stopping her count down, she made sure no none could.

Raven could barely look at the girl she once thought of as a sister.

Clarke stared her down with a frown that could put anyone to shame, “You better hope not. If I find out the flames torturing my daughter and no one did anything to stop it, then I _promise_ to make Praimfaya look like a fucking candle flame. Whether I’m dead or alive”

Before any of them could responded the final screech of the clock filled the air. Clarke had just enough time to close her eyes and lean back into the modified cryo chamber that would be her casket.

There sick irony being that Spackru, or at least Murphy and Raven, put oxygen tanks in those canisters that she found earlier, no doubt so she could be alive to feel herself burn as she fell into the orbit of the planet bellow.

It would not be the first time she burned for them, but it would be her last.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided this would be a multi chapter fic, though as always I don't know where things go.
> 
> Speaking of not knowing where things are going, that FINAL?!

Echo watched the blonde close her eyes as death loomed over her shoulders, it was the most peaceful she’s seen _Wanheda_ besides when she was with her daughter surrounded by desert with Octavia injured by her feet.

Death loves a killer.

One second the mountain slayer was there, the next the metal contraption Murphy and Raven constructed to hold her was sucked out of existence. On the ring Echo had seen their trash get floated, she’s heard of stories from Bellamy on how they’d deal justice to their people; or injustice in some cases, but in person it was no more cruel then what they did on the ground, only you could feel the weight of the life you were extinguishing when there was a sword pointed at your face.

This, however, made it seem like the easiest thing in the world. Echo glanced around, the other two had different expressions each equally cold, possible to stop from feeling but the tears pouring down their faces showed what they could not hide.

“One of you gets to tell Bellamy how she died, and then you can see the damage that you’ve dealt”

She’d have to find a way to center him again, and Heda…that was a problem for a later day when they wake her with the rest.

…

Emori was on the computers checking out Monty’s old videos when commotion had caught her eye and she saw Echo beating away at something with Raven and Murphy clearly shouting at something.

She saw Clarke and knew instantly what Murphy meant by helping Raven with a ‘project’.

“Hey, Emori, where’s everyone else” Bellamy asked, approaching the confusion evident in the curve of his brow.

Quickly she morphed her features thankful for the years of practice in deceit, Bellamy was a time bomb as it was; whether the rest noticed it or not Clarke was what was keeping him from thrashing about in a fit of anger and sorrow after learning about Monty and Harper.

“Hey, Bellamy, they’re probably fighting with themselves to see who’s going to try the algae again. You know—see the side effects”

That got a chuckle from the older man no doubt remembering their time on the Ark, but he was still refusing to go any other direction than where she was.

“So” she added, “What’s Clarke been up to”

Bellamy stopped and glared at her, “Do you really care, don’t think I haven’t seen you guys picking on her”

Well, no she really didn’t, the only thing a cockroach needed to fear was a more experienced one and Wanheda fit that criteria a bit to well.

“She left you to _die_”

“Then _I _can be mad, besides it’s not like you guys haven’t made mistakes or tried to kill each other either!”

Touché.

“Yes, well, with all said and done Wanheda knows how to take care of herself” Hopefully.

If Clarke did die the largest power vacuum in the universe would be created, meaning more fighting for the title, so it’s better to have an enemy you hate but know than like and don’t.

“Don’t call her that!”

Emori could see the anger getting to Bellamy, maybe she could pull a Murphy and get him to leave.

“She’s earned it” Easiest part was that she didn’t need to pretend about her indifference. That being said she didn’t want the blonde to die either, it would slowly kill Bellamy the second time around _and _Madi was her daughter. A daughter that is _very _attached to her mother and would order her new army to crush them if something happened to her mother.

Hands slammed down in front of her, almost taking the monitors with it, thank the gods Bellamy only bent over to try and intimidate her instead of looking down.

“_Don’t **ever **say that again, you wouldn’t have gotten **another **chance at death without her. **Be grateful**_”

Emori put her head down faking, the majority, of her guilt. Silently she nodded, hoping he would back up and away; she would see, as he looked now, that Bellamy still had the wild look in his eyes whenever Clarke would appear from her hiding places as if out of thin air. As if he was never sure she existed in the first place.

She feared how far he would revert back if Clarke disappeared forever.

“Okay, okay” She gently pushed him off the table and away from the screens, Emori was only glad that she had the audio muted.

The man huffed before storming out of the room, she waited till his back was gone before righting the electronics.

“I mean it Emori, come on Jordan let’s get lunch”

She jumped when Bellamy whipped back in the room glaring before finally leaving for good. She also didn’t notice that Jordan had his nose in some box on the other side of the room.

Emori sighed, it wasn’t even three weeks and they were already fighting with each other.

On to the next challenge.

When she looked back Clarke was yelling practically snarling at the rest, she was tempted to turn up the volume but even with one press to silent she came through clearly,

“I made a deal to share the valley with Diyoza, _my_ valley, _Madi’s _valley; but Octavia refused, war was on the horizon so I made the idea of killing Blodreina, Bellamy said no so I stopped and stepped back…but when I was chained to the wall he told me he was going to give Madi the flame instead of getting me out so we could think of something else, the stupid piece of crap that gave her nightmares for _years. _The piece of tech that _still _gave me nightmares long after it was in my head…He _promised_ we would go to the valley _together_ and get you guys, but instead he left me tied up. Yes, I left him to die in the fighting pits, and that will be my greatest mistake, but he was the one to betray me first…I did what I thought was right for my peop—person, if that’s so wrong then so be it”

Emori typed away doing her best to break through Raven’s firewall, Clarke’s voice her only companion and her count down.

Error.

Error. Unauthorized access.

She hit the key board, Raven knew more tricks than her, hell the only tricks she did know were the ones she showed her.

The apprentice has yet to make more mistakes than the master.

Red was flashing over the screens, the clock she had yet to notice was counting down. She had seconds; maybe mimicking Raven’s electronic signature would give her access.

Raven had muttered something so low that the audio didn’t pick up, but she could hear Clarke loud as day,

“You better hope not”

Emori wondered if Raven and Murphy planned to be on the bridge, away from the biggest mistake they’ve ever made.

A small screen popped up.

Access granted.

She pumped her fist in the air. Finally.

Typing away she entered a restart code, but there was a nagging feeling as if something told her to look over. She wished she hadn’t.

Emori saw Clarke lean back eyes closed as if she was just going to sleep; one moment Clarke was there the next the great Wanheda had disappeared into legend once again, never to live again.

There was a beep, but she didn’t look away from the screens, Emori didn’t have to look to see what it said:

Automated control reengaged.

Emori didn’t know how long she sat there but, a shadow was the only thing that pulled her from her frozen posture, she was used to space but the bridge felt colder than it had ten minutes ago. It was too cold.

The shadow seemed to crawl toward her, almost hovering over her maybe in goodbye or a promise of a similar fate, before disappearing into the glass that over looked the planets and moons before them.

When she turned a hulking metal body that floated into her field of vision. It was a cocoon that no bird would ever be ever to crack, she doubted the drilling equipment could get Clarke out.

Emori watched silently as the metal coffin was pulled into the moon’s gravity, slowly getting smaller as it got redder and redder till it was bright as the suns next to it.

Time seemed to sit still, waiting, as if this whole thing was a big hoax, a cruel joke to get back at a traitor of war.

Death was inevitable to all mortals, but a slow one is preventable.

Emori sat there, only noticing Echo after who knows how long when the warrior sat next to her, a hand running through her hair.

Neither said anything, not when Echo turned to see her failed attempt of help and not when Emori watched the Azgeda spy trash part of the bridge.

…

It was hours before either of them moved.

“So…” Emori didn’t know how to start on the very complicated situation that they now found themselves in.

Clarke Griffin was dead and they were stuck to pick up the remaining pieces, all of which had a very real promise of blowing up in their faces.

“Who’s going to tell Bellamy”

Echo just frowned at her though it was more in contemplation than condemnation. Either way there was the guarantee that Bellamy was going to explode, whether it was before or after the devastation left him a husk was a different matter.

“For now, we don’t tell him anything. Can you lock all the airlocks?”

Emori nodded, not needing to be told twice. On the Ark they all had moments of madness where the vast emptiness of space seemed more pleasant than the metal cage they were stuck in for six years.

Bellamy had more than the rest of them combined.

“And then we tell him—what Clarke floated herself in desperation to get away, of feeling like a monster for to long, or should we go with—”

Echo’s hand shot out till it was clasped around the back of her neck, not in a way to limit breathing but enough to be a warning.

“Don’t patronize him—”

Well to late for that, Emori thought.

“besides Clarke was watching out for her daughter, we would’ve done the same thing in her situation”

Emori shook the spy’s arm off, “We’d never leave out friends behind to die, much less be tortured”

But Echo just snorted, unamused at her.

“We’ve all done things Emori, you wouldn’t be here otherwise”

Emori frowned, “Why are you even _defending _her? Wanheda—the one to kill us all at some point”

“I don’t know”

She stopped and looked at Echo, the woman looked just as confused, or at least as confused as her features and years of training would let her. Or maybe the six years made her easier to read.

Emori didn’t do much else but nod in farewell, yet when she got to the door Echo’s voice stopped her again.

“We keep it quiet till Raven and Murphy come clean or we have to tell Bellamy what went down. This is not something you want to contort in appearance, even if it would solve most problems”

Albeit reluctantly, Emori had to agree. The hell they had to deal with when Bellamy found out they hid some old tapes of Clarke from him was something she didn’t want to relive.

“Okay” she said, walking off quietly into the deserted hallway; now all she needed to do was prevent as much collateral as possible.

…

To hers and Emoris relief and surprise it took another week for Bellamy to catch on that something happened; and it wasn’t from the lack of signals, Murphy and Raven had both kept to themselves, hiding away whenever one of them would get close and practically running in the opposite direction from Bellamy.

Though it may have helped that Bellamy was off in his head for most of the time.

They were able to keep him on a goose chase, giving them a couple more days to figure out how they wanted to break the news, but eventually he got tired of not finding the Blonde and he seeked out Jordan, who apparently was doing the same thing as him but on a much quieter level.

“Jordan, where is Clarke”

The boy looked startled, for all Echo knew it was the first time someone spoke with him since Clarke died.

The younger man put down his bowl of algae, a concerned and sad look passing over his normally cheerful face.

“I don’t know, Clarke has missed our meetings for the past few days”

“What? What meetings, we haven’t planned anything except wait to see if someone would call from Alpha”

The last Green’s eyes flickered to her and Emori, they were the only other occupants in the room, Raven and Murphy were still AWAL.

“Yeah” he hesitated, “Clarke and I were cataloging somethings…we’d do it every other day”

It was easy to see the irritation and confusion mixing dangerously over Bellamy’s features. He took a deep breath,

“Okay, that’s good, um…_when _was the last time you’ve _seen _her”

The young boy shrugged folding in on himself slightly from the attention, though Echo doubted he knew what he was doing or feeling, it wasn’t hard to see that the surplus of extra people made him uncomfortable.

“About a week and a half ago”

“WHAT!” The Green flinched from Bellamy’s yelling. “That long, why didn’t you say anything?!”

Jordan shot up from his seat, uncharacteristically mad,

“Sorry! But it isn’t the first time she’s disappeared for days at a time, not with how you guys treat her”

Echo could see the devastation the verbal blow caused; Bellamy had taken a step back from Jordan as if the kid had hit him. She wondered if that was why she took to defending the blonde; it was almost irritating enough to have the rest of the people pissy from Clarke’s mere presence, the exception Jordan and mostly Bellamy, though he had his moments.

There was always a bad taste in her mouth when something gets hounded over and over without defending itself. It was a feeling that not even Nia could train out of her, maybe it was the thrill of taking down something equal in power or maybe it was the last remnant of her mother’s teachings.

Apparently that sentiment extended to Clarke Griffin.

“She’s a traitor”

Every one’s heads whipped to the entrance of the dinning area, it was Raven closely shadowed by Murphy, both looking on the more worn out side.

“Yeah?” Jordan scoffed. “She’s still helped me more than the rest of you”

The only telling sight that his words affected the others was the flinches in Raven’s right eye and the low snarl that came from Murphy.

“That’s how she gets you kid, catches you when you least expect it” the man growled.

Echo stood ready to put herself between Jordan and the irate male, but to her surprise the passivity of Monty seemed to vanish from Jordan and the determination of Harper came forth.

“If my parents were here, they’d tell you she wasn’t the only one in the wrong”

“Your parents are _dead _because of her!” Murphy bellowed, arms uncrossing into a more posturing figure.

“No” Jordan challenged back, the algae in front of him flying across the room as he swiped it away.

“They died because neither Wonkru _nor _Eligius could share Clarke’s valley!”

Murphy stalked closer and Echo stepped between, her arm keeping either from swinging at each other, though she doubted Jordan would even if he was angry.

Murphy stuck his finger out at the younger kid, “She deserved to die!”

“Yeah, well Clarke cultivated it for six years with an infant—wait what?!”

All fight seemed to leave Murphy, his face quickly forming to shock, then guilt and finally to a fearful panic. Raven looked just as anxious as he was.

A hand shot past Echo’s face pulling Murphy away, before any of them could react Bellamy had Murphy on the floor, one arm twisting Murphy’s arm the other going around said man’s throat.

Bellamy spoke quietly, calmly. Never has she seen Bellamy act this way, not on the Ark and not on the ground during the days before Praimfaya.

“_Where _is Clarke”

No one said anything.

Bellamy lifted up the man in his grasps before showing him down into the cold unforgiving steel floor, his grip tightening till it threatened to break Murphy’s arms. Or his neck.

“Answer me Murphy!”

The cockroach groaned, coughing out a wad of bloody snot. He spit on the floor turning as much as he could to the man pinning him down,

“Here’s a hint, _go float yourself_”

It was like touching a live wire. Bellamy jumped off the man he grew to love as a brother for six years, head shaking at the possibility.

“No, no—you lie! Now tell me where she is” Bellamy backed up, the room was deathly quiet and every exhale felt like a whirlwind.

Raven came closer, taking a stand next to her partner in crime,

“She got what she deserved” she spit.

“This is a sick joke” Bellamy muttered taking another step back towards the door. “This is just a sick joke, you have her tied up as punishment or locked her in one of the closets”

“Bellamy” Echo tried putting her hand on his shoulder in hope to ground him but he was spiraling to fast.

“LET GO OF ME!” he yelled. His crazed eyes scanning the room one last time. His hands clenched at his head, “this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening, this can’t—”

“It’s true”

Her words were the final nails in the coffin.

“You knew?”

Echo sighed.

“She tried to get Clarke out” Raven muttered, though Echo didn’t know if it was to placate the smallest amount to Bellamy or if it was some twisted apology. For all Echo knew it could be a reminder that she didn’t support Raven and Murphy’s endeavors.

Bellamy’s jaw kept opening and closing, each time the muscle’s becoming more taunt and pronounced. His eyes roved over them again, one last time, before he bolted from the room in search of the ghost of the woman who always came into his life like a lamb but left like a lion.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always the 100 belongs to its own creators, please support them in any way possible.
> 
> 1) Enjoy  
2) Hope you are having a good day

“How could you” Jordan whispered, eyes trailing after Bellamy.

“Clarke left Bellamy to die, left us to be tortured”

He stared at Raven unsure of the feelings that were wreaking havoc on his mind, on his heart.

“She loved you” The words fell out of his mouth, the anger to exhausting to continue. They really killed her.

That got a scoff from the mechanic, were these really the people her parents lived with for six years of their life?

“She has a funny way of showing it”

“So do you…” He got up, ignoring the hands of Emori and Echo that were trying to help him as he stumbled to his feet. This wasn’t the family his parents talked about. This wasn’t the hopes and dreams of humanity, or the heroes of their stories.

This was—this was…

Jordan didn’t know what to call this.

He stumbled towards the hall where Bellamy tore off, he never once felt the chill of this ship till now.

“Jordan”

He didn’t know who was calling after him, he didn’t care. They killed Clarke, the person willing to become a monster, a Wanheda, the Commander of Death, for her people.

And they killed her.

Did they know of the scars that ran from the bottom of her feet to her stomach, did they not see the pain that they caused.

He may not have known the extent of the atrocities that the woman committed, but he thought they’d have given her a chance after the ones she’d given them. That’s what his parents said, that her love was so big and so strong that it hurt those she tried to protect.

That someone had to be the bad guy. Even if they didn’t want to be.

“Jordan”

He felt the fingers grasp his shoulder but they didn’t dig into him and restrain him when he continued forth into the fridged metal hallway.

Everyone says she was death incarnate, the harbinger of the end and the beginning of war. That she was cold, mean, and calculated.

And maybe she was, but to him she was life. She held him as he cried to sleep, asked if he was okay when he caught her starting to break down just like him. Clarke was there when he asked—begged, really—she may not have been his mother by blood and it’s only been a few weeks…but she was more family than any of the actual people that spent six years in space with his parent.

If Clarke was death, he could see why his parents weren’t afraid of it at the end of their lives.

“Where are you going” one of the people behind him asked, he still didn’t bother to look behind.

“Somewhere”

And he was.

He dragged his feet slowly to his room, collecting the book him and Clarke were working on to commemorate his parents and what they did. He’d seen her gun and asked for stories; it was when she first seeked him out to make sure he wasn’t reeling from the fact that his parents were dead.

She wasn’t the first to ask if he was okay, hell she was actually the last, but she seemed to understand space well more than anyone. Clarke would listen to him blabber but she wasn’t overly sorry and forcing him to open up, instead she slid down his bedroom wall and cleaned her gun. It’s then that he asked about the names etched into the metal, she told of their stories in hopes of never forgetting any of them.

It was their little ritual.

He’d tell something of his parents from his time or their stories that they told him and Clarke in return would tell him a story.

It was the fifth time they had their session, each seeming to get longer and longer as they hid away from everyone else, when he asked if she’d draw his parents how she’d remembered them.

He cried for days, but they were tears of joy. If the shock wasn’t in his system he would have laughed when he remembered Clarke freaking out, asking what she did wrong, when he explained.

The relief that washed over her face was odd at the time, but as the days dragged on, he could see Spacekru eating her alive, when he asked if he could help, she always reassured him that she had everything handled.

He didn’t think being a punching bag was handling the problem, but Clarke only said it’s what she deserved, he tried to fight her on that but she shut him up just as easily as his mother could.

It was also near the time when Jordan asked if they could write down his parents both on her gun and in the spiral bound book he created.

They were supposed to convert the physical book into electronic text this week to ensure their story got told…

Jordan grabbed a few things, the book nestled under his shirt over his heart, and headed towards the cryo pods.

The room was just as quiet as when Clarke and Bellamy first woke, the only time there being any noise was when Bellamy woke the rest of his family—of Jordan’s supposed family—he remembered Clarke hanging back with him, excluded more than he was.

Jordan pushed a button and the cryo pod came further out but he didn’t dare to open it up, he wouldn’t do that to the occupant, not yet anyway.

“Hey, cousin, you don’t know me yet, but I came here—” he gulped and did the best he could to keep the tears from spilling. He had a tablet in hand, the security cameras were up; he hasn’t seen Clarke get floated yet, but he could see the lack of progress of her and Echo were making.

There wasn’t enough time, there never is.

A few tears hit the glass pod bellow him and he wiped them away with the cuff of his shirt.

“—I…your mom died. I just wanted you to know that she loved you more than anything else, I can see it each time I see her eyes when she tells a story about you. You were her whole world…I’m not her, but I will be here when you wake up”

He patted the pod again before sliding down with his back to the wall, her pod still out. Jordan hoped he’d be at least half as caring as Clarke was.

“I’m sorry, Madi”

…

His feet had him running through the halls with all his strength. He checked her room, the sorry excuse for a kitchen, the even more sorry excuse of a library, nothing; he looked in all the places Clarke would hide, well the ones he knew of, he continued to discover more and more as the weeks progressed, he found her favorite part of the air vents, but when he popped his head up in them she wasn’t there, not a trace of her smell or a single strand of her golden hair.

Bellamy checked the med bay.

And broke down on his knees crying.

On the floor in front of him was small drops of blood bleeding into each other, some were smeared, others were barely there like the fine mist of Earth. Someone would have to be hit _hard _for that effect to form.

Clarke was nowhere to be found; but like the Ark her ghost was everywhere, her medical coat was on the floor in the corner, rumpled and speckled like the floor, her drawings decorating the walls _again_.

He cried till he was hoarse, and cried some more till he was vomiting.

Bellamy let his body fall till he was dead weight ball curled in on himself. He laid like that, covered in his vomit and the last remnants of Clarke that stained the wall and his shirt. His anger would comeback with a vengeance, with a fire that would rival Clarke’s own.

He would make them pay, Raven and Murphy had no _right _not when they’ve killed just like the rest of them. Bellamy expected Murphy to do something, maybe cause a fight like in the past, but him and the rest were just lashing their tongues out at Clarke nothing more. He didn’t think…

He didn’t think, just like he didn’t think Clarke would react so bad to Madi being chipped to stop a war, to leaving him to die in the fighting pi—wait, Madi!

A whole knew set of guilt and grief washed over him pulling him deeper and deeper into his mind. Someone would have to tell the kid her mother was floated, like her grandfather before her, like her _mother _before her.

Bellamy promised Clarke he’d protect her child, betrayed her in order to save her, and still put her child in danger. He failed both Griffins yet again. He remembered overhearing how scared Madi was to go into cryo, how curious she was when she asked if they’d dream, now she will only wake up to a nightmare.

One he could have prevented.

So, Bellamy let himself cry and break, yell at all the hells they’ve been through up to this point and the new one he just fell into. He cried for the child who lost her mother the same way he did, he cried for himself and his inability to keep the people he loved alive and unhurt, and then he cried for Clarke.

For everything that he did to her in the valley, for everything she did to him. For the pain and sorrow.

Bellamy had kept his distance and was always polite to her when either of them needed to talk, but he hurt to much. He understood what it was like to think that you only had one person in your life that mattered, but once again he didn’t think…

He curled tighter into himself, the sour smell of his vomit a dull sensation in the background, his kneecaps practically cradling his head.

He thought he lost her forever, and then he found her in her valley. Then they were on other sides and he thought he lost her again when he didn’t head Madi’s advice.

‘_Clarke will **never** forgive you’_

Then he had Clarke again, their bond strained, practically deteriorated completely and at risk of complete separation, but there was still a single thread that was fighting with all its worth.

And he ignored his extra chance.

Now Clarke was gone forever.

As in gone, gone. To _never _come back, to tell him he’s an idiot or a traitor for leaving her chained to the walls, or from ignoring her when they already lost six years.

His throat felt like it was on fire and he couldn’t see, it didn’t stop him from whispering her name till he was as cold and still as the tile beneath him.

Clarke Griffin; Wanheda, the Commander of Death, destroyer of worlds, mountain slayer, Shaikru leader, the head, and so _so_ much more—was dead.

Bellamy closed his eyes feeling the heat being leached from his skin into the tile, he wished it would do the same with his breath.

He lived in a world without Clarke Griffin.

It wasn’t living, not to him.

…

Emori was the first to find him, covered in his own vomit. She didn’t want to think about the blood around her.

She grabbed Clarke’s now useless lab coat and covered the shaking man, his lips moving in his sleep. Emori could strain her ears or get closer to listen but she didn’t need to, she knew who he was calling.

The only difference is that the blonde would never call him back.

She went back to Echo, the two of them deciding to split looking for the two men who ran off. Jordan was still unable to be located, but she and Echo were able to at least hoist Bellamy onto the semi padded table nearby.

Emori took note of the heavy sigh from the spy as Echo looked around the room taking in the blood for the first time and the vomit they smeared further. She did her best to ignore the second sigh that came from the woman when Echo was doing her best to get the blood and vomit from the man, but he clung to the lab coat, continuing to call for Clarke.

In the end she watched Echo grab one of the many cloths in the room and wipe as much bodily fluids away as possible. As she did that Emori grabbed the few medical blankets and cocooned the man who lead them in the endless vacuum of space.

“The air lock automatic system is back online right”

Emori turned to the only other grounder who had to endure the departure of their home all those years ago.

“Yes” she replied. Emori could see Echo thinking, calculating.

“Can you lock them all” it was just a fraction above complete silence.

“If need be” Emori took out a gun shaped thermometer, there was one on the Ark that her and john used to go around to measure temperatures of random ass things.

Echo nodded slightly, “Do it”

She didn’t need to be told twice, Bellamy barely survived the first-time losing Clarke, this time it was going to kill him, the only difference was how fast they were willing to let him deteriorate, and how fast they could find him something else to focus on.

Emori thought the best person would be Jordan and Madi, but the first one seemed to be in the same boat as Bellamy, though she hasn’t seen the blonde interact with the young Green at all except for a smile here or there.

Which left Madi, but…together they’d be a bigger bomb waiting to go off most likely.

Emori gave a sigh that gave Echo a run for her money, “Just don’t tell Raven, or Jordan for that matter”

The other woman nodded.

It’s funny how it felt like war was just around the corner, but they weren’t facing an army this time, they were facing Wanheda’s faithful knight.

Emori feared for Murphy and Raven, she’d seen how far Bellamy went for Clarke, but she also saw how they’d ground one another even in the little time she spent with them before the whole ALIE and end of the world debacle.

Bellamy Blake did not have anything holding him down, from holding him back from lashing out.

She had a feeling that even death wouldn’t stop Bellamy from getting to the other two.

The two of them sat in the room, listening to the man they grew to love, one who used to be a hindrance or an enemy long ago and was now family. His whimpers and cries hurt more than any bullet could.

Time does a funny thing to anything and everything, and they were no exception.

Not even the Commander of Death.


	4. Chapter 4

He wakes several times, each accompanied by the steep pull of sleep and a confusion he could not shake, he didn’t keep his eyes open for more than a few seconds each time.

When he slipped into the world of the living, he couldn’t feel anything, not the press of century old cotton, the cramps in his back from his fetal position, he couldn’t even feel where his skin pressed against the back wall where ever the hell he was laying.

Bellamy didn’t know what number it was that he was pulled to the living, he vaguely recognized a blurry outline of someone.

Maybe they’d slit his throat and put him out of his misery, maybe then he could stay in the darkness of death and look for Clarke.

“Bell—it’s the kid—we need to stop—waken up—she’s rampaging—Bell—y! Be—my”

Hands shook him but he ignored them, his body lead and his soul fleeting. This is what Monty and Harper died for, all this shit.

He would have scoffed if he could move his muscles, if it didn’t feel like the sandman was dragging him down.

“Donsh carrre” he slurred, the blurry person becoming even more so before fading out into the peaceful darkness.

Maybe now he could rest.

…

EARLIER

“It’s been three days; they need to get over it”

Despite the indifference in his tone, Emori could see the man twitching from where she sat beside Echo. He was the first to come out from hiding, but there was a nervousness that she’s never seen before. Every groan of metal or swish of a door had him jumping. Tensing.

Expecting.

It was like every second he was waiting for Bellamy to charge through and throw him out the air lock in vengeance, and she had no doubt Bellamy would.

If he ever woke up.

Emori was getting worried, Raven was still AWOL somewhere…and Bellamy. Bellamy didn’t move from his place in the medical room. The man hadn’t eaten, only slept, it was like he was in a comma. Like he shut down and didn’t have the energy to even be awake anymore.

She was starting to get worried, her and Echo were able to get Bellamy out of his clothes but he was like the dead, he didn’t even open his eyes when she hit him on the shoulder he only rolled over and curled tighter into a ball. He was crying for Clarke to ‘come back’ from wherever she disappeared to in his memories. Well, nightmares.

At least his fits of lashing out were come and go, Emori couldn’t stand to see him like that. Like his life was nothing without Clarke Griffin…but when she thought about it, and she really did not like to think about it, Emori knew the two had a _very _complicated history; and she hated to admit it even more, but when the two were together hell’s furry didn’t seem to horrid.

“Could have said the same thing about your anger towards Clarke”

Emori whipped around, almost head-butting Echo who did the same at the new comer’s voice. Jordan was leaning against the door, heavily. Almost as if breathing was too much effort and standing wasn’t worth the trouble.

She wondered where Harper and Monty’s son vanished to, it’s been three days and neither her nor Echo had seen hide or hair of the young Green. At first, she was worried that he would try to override her work and open the airlocks again in a spark of madness that seemed to plague the ship, but there were no notifications sent to her that any person was messing with the settings. Emori just didn’t know where to find him and when she looked static would cover her screens as if he knew they were going to search for him. Like he didn’t want to be found.

Jordan’s skills were definitely on par with Monty’s, possibly Raven’s, and maybe even better, that much at least she could give to the last Green.

When she gave the young man another once over, she noticed that he looked more tired than angry, correction _exhausted _than angry.

She turned back and saw John’s mouth clamped shut. He was glaring back but wasn’t able to hold the glare that the young Green shot back at him.

The young man trudged over toward the other table, almost tripping over himself till he curled over his smaller frame, he put his head on his crossed arms looking like a lost island on the metal table.

He didn’t turn to them.

“Hey, Jordan” Emori tried her best to sound friendly, encouraging, or maybe even sympathetic but the days have dragged her down too. She’s lost two of the most important people in her life, ones that she considered family, ones she would risk her life for. Even so, she didn’t know their kid, didn’t know Jordan, she’s tried to but he would always scamper off when to many of them would surround him, question him with the obvious.

She could understand his feeling of needing to be alone, that much she could reason with, but she didn’t know him well enough to find out how to help him.

“Where’d you go off to” she can still try though.

A grumble of sounds came from the boy who muttered into the crook of his arm.

“I’m sorry can you repea—”

“I said it’s none of your business!” the young Green snapped.

Emori jerked at the sudden nose before sighing and leaning back into her chair, she expected there to be trouble when they woke up because it’s the only damn constant in their lives, but not like this. Not a war between themselves.

“Jordan” she tried again, the sympathy gone and her own exhaustion bleeding through, but the last Green just grunted again picking through some left overs before trudging back through the door.

As he left, she noticed that he had one of the pads with him and pulled out her own. One of its twins it seemed, Emori turned to her own pad tracking the boy but static filled her screen again as soon as he turned the corner, it was like all the cameras in Jordan’s immediate area would shut off into the pixilated view.

She felt Echo sigh over her shoulder watching the static dance across the screen.

Emori placed the tablet on the table between them,

“So, any ideas”

Echo pulled the tablet closer, shifting through the video feed. It was view after view of empty hallways. Echo sighed again, her head leaning more on Emori’s shoulder

“I don’t know”

…

Murphy slipped through the bare bone hallways, they were colder than the ones in the Ark, at least when he was trapped on the metal hell hole of a ring there was a familiarity to it. Even if he hated the place. The Ark may have caused him grief and pain, but at least he knew what he was dealing with up there, he knew why the Ark brought his heart down and put him on edge.

But here, this ship was nothing but a metal coffin with no familiarity, with no promise of possible comfort. No promise of survival.

He didn’t know this turf, no advantage to his survival. It was unpredictable, just like Clarke, and it unnerved him to no end. In the end she was a danger to them all, he couldn’t let Clarke hurt anyone else, not himself and not Emori. He did the right thing. It was the right choice…

Murphy could feel his lips crinkle into a rueful smile.

Being a cockroach was a pain in the ass, but if he wasn’t a cockroach what was he?

_A scared coward_, his mind’s voice seemed to sneer back at him.

Murphy dragged himself into his room and fell onto the hard cot bellow.

…

He sat down next to Madi again, it’s where he’d been for days, Jordan had left her pod out but didn’t wake her up, and he wouldn’t not till he knew what he would say to the girl. Not till he was ready to face another Griffin.

Jordan thought of waking Abby but Clarke told of her state and of her worries of her mother relapsing, he also thought of Kane or Indra. The first was injured possibly beyond functioning ability and Indra, well Indra didn’t know him or his parents as well as the Blakes…plus now he wasn’t sure if she’d understand what losing Clarke would mean, for all he knew she’d be like Murphy or Raven.

So, he sat and talked to Madi for many hours more. Sometimes it was about what interested him, sometimes it was just a string of questions that he had no answer to; worse of all sometimes it was just him crying, yelling, and begging for the semblance of harmony that Clarke Griffin was able to give him.

He wished he knew what to do.

“_No one knows their exact time Jordan, you can either act and hope your best is enough or you can do nothing and see how fall_”

It was something Clarke told him when he asked about Mount Weather, her side was so, so different from what his parents told him. It was like her stories were alive with added facts and more scenes, they may have shared the same bloodshed and horror, but hers had a tragic magic to it that resonated with him.

He’d asked her how bad it hurt when she chose to follow what she thought was the best course of action.

“_Like the boils from Praimfaya_” she’d told him.

…

Raven was at her desk looking over the schematics of some machine that Diyoza’s men used, but the regular curiosity wasn’t in her. The hollowness in her chest hasn’t lessened since—since she did what she had to do.

Raven shook her head, Clarke’s face popped up in the deepest of corners, has been for days.

She wondered if the blonde felt like this during…

Raven couldn’t help but laugh, though if it was strangled and wet with no mirth, she didn’t give any acknowledgement to it.

Looks like Clarke really was haunting her from beyond the grave.

Despite her best effort to go back to the papers in front of her, there was no way she would be able to focus. She didn’t have a fire under her that she normally did, and she’s afraid to figure out why.

Turning off the lamp at her desk Raven made to clean up for bed, but a drop of something hit her hand causing her to stop.

Looking down caused it to happen several more times.

“What…”

Her hands reached for her face, when had she been crying. She had no reason to cry!

But no matter how many times she wiped away her tears more seemed to fill their place.

Raven looked toward the tall mirror, an antique from humans long, long past. There in front of her she could see her tears gleaming in the starlight that filtered through the window high above.

She’s seen herself in better circumstances, her face was streaked with oil and grease, sweat and tears.

“Don’t forget blood” a dry as bone voice laughed.

Whipping around, crowbar in hand, Raven snarled at her uninvited guest.

“What do you—what”

Standing before her was a smoldering charred piece of something. There was no face, no lips, and the eyes were nothing like she remembered, all melted together in a sick concoction of melted and burned flesh.

“Hello Raven”

“No” Raven looked at the monstrosity before her taking a step back in shock. There was no way this woman could be alive, no way for her to get back on the ship even if she somehow survived.

“You’re dead”

The woman—no husk—took a step forward, the sound of skin raw skin ripping apart from the frictions brought bile to her throat. The closer the husk came the more Raven could see parts of the woman falling off with each movement.

This had to be a dream, a nightmare. This couldn’t be real.

“Oh” a sickly-sweet voice caressed her ears, “I’m as real as the blood on your hands _little bird_”

What there wasn’t any—, Raven looked down, all over here where oil and grease used to be a new thicker, sicker, black substance bubbled along her skin. She brushed of with her hands the slap of it against the floor doing little to break through the pounding of blood in her ears.

“You can never wash it off Raven, _I _should know” The burnt husk cackled in a way that reminded Raven of the carrion birds that picked away at there dead in Camp Jaha.

“You are _not _real, this is just stress” Raven glared at the husk, but it only smiled, it’s teeth long gone leaving an ashy void.

“Come off it Raven, we both know it isn’t only that”

The husk cackled as it circled her, each step leaving fleshy ash in its wake as if the vibrations were more than mere steps.

Without warning the husk had a hand around her throat pushing Raven onto her desk, but there was something far more sinister in the grip that she couldn’t place. Raven’s throat was closing but no mater how hard she hit the husk, the memory, the nightmare, whatever the hell this thing was, it was doing nothing to deter it.

“How’s it feel?”

Raven barley sounded anything more than a breathless cough.

The husk was smirking over her as her charred hide fell away into Raven’s mouth.

The smell, the smell was horrible. She gagged.

Raven clawed at the face above her, her vison turning black at the edges, but there was no peace. Every handful of the sin before her ripped away exposing grey bone.

It was taking to long and there was no indication she was doing anything to the husk before her. The lack of air didn’t help and soon Raven found herself being led into the darkness.

Almost.

Raven could feel her body slam forward, bouncing of her chair and into the hard floor.

“Now, now, Raven. Can’t have you dying on me, it would certainly be bad etiquette” The husk snarled softly.

Raven watched at the thing pranced around her room, looking the different pieces of equipment. How it was possible Raven didn’t know, there was no way the woman—the thing could see.

Crawling as silently as she could Raven made fore the door. She’d float this monster again if she had to.

Something quick and sharp landed against the back of her bad leg where she knew she lost pain years ago. Saying it hurt like hell was an understatement, it was worse than anything she’s ever experienced; not even the pain of torture or the bullet being removed from her hurt this much.

“Raven, we aren’t done” a voice whispered behind her ear.

She cried out as the weight increased, the fire in her limb racing up into her core, then her other leg, and finally it was encroaching up her chest.

“Let me go” Raven tried for anger, or bravery, confidence even, but her voice was as weak as her body was now.

A wet stickiness that had no right to being so warm was oozing over her neck, it wasn’t long till she felt the sludgy skin flaps of fingers grip her neck again.

“Why” a sick giggled followed after the husk dragged her back in front of the tall mirror.

Raven didn’t want to look, couldn’t.

“Now don’t be like that, where’s the mighty Raven and her moral high-ground.

The husk’s other hand gripped the bottom of her jaw forcing her to look into the mirror. She met the empty sockets where the melted eyes once were.

“Now” sing songed her captor, “Answer my question: how does it feel?”

“I hu—urt” her voice cracked. Raven could feel the tears rolling down her face, offering fleeting comfort before evaporating of the husk’s hand.

The monster cocked its head to the side, curious and amused.

“That’s not what I meant”

But when Raven tried to look away the abomination of a person shook her like piece of cloth that needed cleaning.

“Answer Raven, answer! Don’t you always know what’s right, so tell me the damn answer!”

Raven yelled for help, she cried, she begged. She wanted _out_.

“You don’t get to leave, I didn’t and now neither can you” Hissed the husk.

Raven found herself on the floor, shirt crinkled up with exposed belly on the cold hard metal and the mirror in front of her learning down on her. Somewhere along the line from when she was thrown on the floor, she lost what little food she had in her.

“I will ask you one last time” the calmness sent a big surge of adrenaline and Raven had to fight from vomiting her stomach acid into her throat.

“What’s it like, being the only murder here”

Raven foundered, she hurt to much and couldn’t think.

Bloody bones dug deeper into the back of her neck and when she looked up into the mirror she could see the husk, what was left of the husk, sitting on top of her with her hand going to the nape of her neck and knees digging into her side threatening to break her ribs.

“I’m…not”

The monster laughed at her, almost joyful if it didn’t sound so deranged.

“Oh, Raven, how wrong you are”

Raven’s body was shaking horribly so, but the anger for the woman that the husk once was still filled her with a fire.

“No” Raven was able to get up to her forearms, “No, I didn’t leave people to get tortured, I didn’t fight on the wrong side of the war. I didn’t leave my best friend behind to die, nor did I do fuck all and say sorry only to do it again. That. Was. _You_”

Any comfort that her anger provided was snuffed out as fast as it came when the monster shoved her back down without the slightest hint of strength.

“Denial doesn’t look good on you Raven, besides…”

Raven watched the husk extend one of its arms behind itself.

A click went off.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew what it was, she’s used them before and had them used on her; but in this thing’s hands it felt like something completely different, an all-new horror. She froze.

The barrel was pushed into the back of her head.

“It’s better to be a monster with no head, than a human with no heart”

“no” it as barely a whisper, “please”

Raven could feel the anger shoot out from the husk, its free hand moving form her nape to the back of her head, yanking her hair back with a loud snarl. And then her face met the floor.

“You don’t get to sit on the sidelines and have the audacity to beg, to plead, to tell who is wrong or right! _You _don’t get to chose who lives and who dies!”

Raven felt her head get pulled up again before it met the floor several more times.

“Isn’t that right Raven, you said that was my choice! I didn’t want that choice but you forced that for me”

Raven was yanked up till she was on her knees and the husk was cocooned around her, its knees caging her own in and it blood seeping into her back and down her arms.

“You’ve been stained just as long as I _little bird_”

The hand that wasn’t holding the gun curled to the front of her throat, cupping the exposed underside of her jaw. If this really was the ghost of Wanheda then there were more than one means to kill her, and some far crueler than others.

“Maybe now you will know the price of leadership, torn asunder by your choices”

“I’m sorr—“she started.

The hand cupping her head jerked back and Raven had to go with it to stop herself from choking.

“Your apologies mean nothing when there is no truth to them, you are not sorry, not yet anyway”

The husk tightened its grip around her and Raven cold do nothing more than just watch the mirror.

The gun’s cold metal left her head and was raised to the side.

“May we meet again” snarked the husk into her ear, “Isn’t that what you said, leaving me in that awful contraption of yours, at least my deaths are normally quick”

The crack of gun fire left her head reeling and her blood pounding. Her world filled with red and it felt like she was alight with the fires of hell, screaming was surrounding her but she couldn’t tell if it was her or the monstrosity that was burning with her.

She vaguely processed the weight gone from her back and the ash clumping around her.

Unsure of what to do Raven did what she normal would not, she gave up. Gave up and let the floor embrace her once again.

She didn’t mind the darkness this time.

…

…

…

She whined in pain as she stirred into consciousness. Raven’s head hurt like a mother and so did the rest of her body.

Wait…Clarke not that _thing_.

Raven shot up from the floor but regretted it instantly when her head went down and her stomach decided it wanted to go up.

“Hrrgh, definitely not going to do that again” she muttered to herself.

Looking at the time on the desk it showed that it was several hours past midnight, but still not late enough for the rest of the crew to be up.

She reached for the light but hesitated, feared more like it, of what she would see. Pushing the thought aside she needed to know, if what she experienced…

The bright light illuminated the area, her desk was a mess but that was normal, though everything wasn’t in place where she left it before that thing arrived.

The mirror stood where it always did look down at those who stand before it, and like a masochist Raven stood in front gazing on herself.

The husk would have looked better than her. Her eyes were red and blood shot, tear tracks visible as fire in the night. Was it all a dream, a nightmare?

The claw marks that lined her throat didn’t make her feel any worse for wear but she didn’t feel good about them either. Raven still couldn’t tell how much was real and how much was from—from what, what happened to her? Did she have some sort of panic attack?

She snorted. No, that couldn’t be right, there was no reason for it.

A loud flat noise had her jumping with a cry.

On the floor spilling its guts out was one of the big manuals for the machine.

“Get yourself together Raven, it was just a stupid dream. There’s nothing to worry about”

Trudging over she picked up the damn piece of text and placed it so it was no longer threatening to fall over the ledge.

“There’s always something to worry about Raven. Nothing is ever _fine_”

Raven didn’t turn around; she knew the voice. Heard it scream, beg, plead, and in the farthest corners of her mind she knew the woman the voice belonged to held a laugh that could ease any fears or heartaches.

“Look at me Raven”

It was soft, honest… and hurting. It wasn’t the voice of that creature that tortured her, but it was still a voice that brought her pain.

“I’m sorr—”

“No, you’re not! You always say you are and then you do it again—” but the next breath she took to yell at the woman fell away when Raven turned around. There on the cot she would fall asleep in sometimes, was Clarke Griffin.

Not _Wanheda_ nor the mother of the valley. It was Clarke, Clarke that was fired to Earth with the rest of the hundred, the Clarke that stood her ground and burned three hundred grounders.

Clarke the child sent to hell to die, but instead became a leader.

Raven didn’t think she’d ever remember what the young Clarke looked like, the long blonde locks giving her a youth that had not stick with her for long.

“Is this a sick joke”

Clarke frowned at her, confused as to what she meant.

“Um, what do you mean”

Raven stomped over to her but as soon as she was a foot away her heels dug in themselves, this was all in her head. She’s stressed and fighting _something _that is making her like this.

“You’re _dead_ Clarke, floated like your father”

The girl flinched away from her, as if _she _was the one who was being tortured.

“Well, that’s something”

You don’t say.

“_I _killed you Clarke” Her chest was starting to tighten and the feeling of control seemed to be slipping again from her.

She wanted the husk back, wanted the monster. She could easily hate Wanheda, the Commander of Death. Raven didn’t want to see this Clarke, the good one, the one that died so long ago.

“Oh” The blonde looked sad but not completely unsurprised. “Well, then I definitely deserved it”

“You did!”

The blonde just nodded, legs bent with her hands crossed over them and her head on top.

“I’m sorry, I know what it’s like to have to kill someone you love, to hurt someone you love”

The smile that was aimed at her seemed to sad, to genuine, and to real. Raven took a step back away from the cot, she couldn’t stand to be next to the kid.

God, they were just kids when they were sent down. Just how fucked up can this universe get.

“Don’t apologize” she hissed at Clarke, err figment Clarke she corrected in her head.

“Why, I mean it”

“You don’t!” Raven yelled kicking the small metal trashcan next to her desk, the poor bin was lifted into the air and sent spiraling.

Just like her, abused and used with a spiraling world around her.

When the blonde didn’t say anything Raven hesitantly looked over, hoping to all the gods out there that her mind would stop with these projections. No such luck.

Clarke was still curled with her head on her arms, a lone tear graced her cheek but the woman—kid—didn’t say anything. Instead she got up and moved to her, instinctively Raven took a step back and she cursed herself for the weakness.

This was just her damn mind playing tricks on her with stress and the lack of sleep.

Raven also ignored the hurt that flashed in the young girl’s face, though she couldn’t help but wonder when Clarke was able to completely mask her feelings.

Raven watched as Clarke just sighed and moved forward, curling her small arms around her neck, the young girl forced Raven to bend down to meet her, to have her head resting in the crook of the girl who was once a sister so long ago.

When was the last time she’d been hugged by Clarke?

There was a hand running through her hair and another running up and down her back.

“These phantom pains will stop eventually” Clarke whispered into her ear, a soft pair of lips feathered across Raven’s forehead and vanished.

Raven didn’t feel her arms tightening around the girl, her sister, not till she just vanished and Raven had to catch herself from falling forward.

A gust of wind seemed to blow from the AC leaving her with goosebumps and a faint echo.

_May we meet again._

…

He woke to god knows what. It wasn’t unnormal to wake up with a beating heart that gave a bird a race for its money in speed.

Looking around he couldn’t find Emori, she must still be with Echo.

Well if he was going to be unable to sleep, he might as well get up.

Cold tile met his feet and while he normally didn’t like the feeling it was getting stuffy under the thousand and done blankets Emori added onto their cot.

Making his way to the bathroom seemed longer than normal or maybe he was just tired. Though the bathroom was small and compact, lacking in any personality, Murphy did like to feel a sense of seclusion where he could run to.

He past their mirror, ignoring the dark circles under his eyes and the twitch that has become more consistent.

Yawning he dropped his drawers to relieve himself.

“You look like shit”

“Ah!!!”

In his defense when he was somewhat able to fathom what happened later on from now, Murphy would say turning and pissing over the wall was not what he meant to do.

“Wow” came the sarcastic voice again, “The first defense you have against a ghost is trying to pee on them. Nice job”

“You—what?! Nevermind” Murphy turned back around getting the last few drops into the bowl ignoring the woman behind him. Now how to tell Emori he had a jump at seeing Clarke Fuckin’ Griffin behind him and pissing himself and the wall in the process.

He tucked his member back in and ran to the sink, practically drawing the towel which he used to splash as much water on his face as possible.

He looked up, towel still in hands, but Clarke was behind him, laughing.

“God, even a prick to ghosts. Always staying classy I see, Murphy”

He stared at her reflection in the glass, which he shouldn’t be able to do if she was a ghost, “Yeah…”

When the woman raised a brow but didn’t say anything he looked off to the side at the lights. An idea formed in his mind.

“Go ahead and try” Clarke snorted.

She was challenging him, the mirth in her eyes looked foreign. It’s been _years _since he’s seen the woman laugh, this had to be a nightmare.

“I will” Murphy gritted out, moving to the lights, turning to keep the woman in his line of sight before he flipped on the switch. Forcing his eyes to stay open with the bright lights was a pain in the ass, but he needed to be sure it was just his imagination.

To his surprise, disappointment filled him when the woman vanished.

“Nice try Clarke, you’re dead” he muttered. Looking at the mirror he found his hand rubbing over his heart. Forcing it down he turned to leave.

Blonde popped up in his field of vision, out of nowhere in front of him, causing him to scream.

“That—stop screaming—that all you got cockroach”

Clarke had her arms crossed and was leaning against the doorway, that infuriating smirk still there.

“You’re dead” he hissed. “I watched you float away”

“I _know, _Murphy I was there” The mirth in her eyes vanished and a new hardness took its place. Murphy took a step back. Hell hath no fury like an angry Clarke Griffin.

“Why” she whispered. Toying with the short berry stained hair that suited her.

He wasn’t expecting that, such a tame and innocent question that he knew had a minefield for any reply.

“You know why” there was an anger slowly building in him. She had no right to do this, of course Clarke couldn’t leave the living alone, not even in death.

“No actually, I don’t”

He laughed a cruel laugh at the woman who’s done the most to humanity, “You left Bellamy to _die_, you fought against your family and you abandoned us—me! What happened to being cockroaches together Clarke? All those years ago when grounders were killing us off, you understood what we needed to do to survive and yet, you, _you_” He threw his arms out toward her, gesturing to the ghost of one of the smallest yet deadliest people he knew. Once knew. “didn’t just try to stomp me out. You did it to Emori and everyone else I care about”

The blonde looked away her expression unreadable.

“Answer me!” he begged, pleaded. She was the only one who ever got him, understood him, besides Emori, but once again they were just expendable ponds in her sick twisted little games.

“You don’t know what happened Murphy” her voice was quiet, almost nonexistent. But that wasn’t what bothered him, it was the sharp clack of her teeth she bared back at him.

“You don’t know what happened in the pit, not completely, not fully. I _know _you know My valley was destroyed and you know it, watched it; I can see it in your mind. You didn’t care about any but getting _your _family out, just like me”

He hit his fist against the wall, “I _was_ your family too”

“Exactly!” she yelled matching his own voice. “Six years with nothing but a child to keep me company, you know besides the isolation and desperation. And then you ask me to give her up to the flame”

He took a step back, “No, Clarke I didn’t. I hate that stupid piece of crap just like you”

“But Bellamy did, and as soon as you found out you did nothing”

“I couldn’t do anything!”

“You didn’t want to!” She hissed, Clarke was practically stalking back and forth against in the small space of the doorway making him feel more trapped than he’s ever felt before.

The walls felt like they were closing in, like there was no where he could move to.

You never want to get in Clarke Griffin’s way, not even her ghost.

“You’re panicking Murphy” The anger lessened in the blond as her medical cap came on, it was weird to see her so close when he knew, he fucking knew, she wasn’t alive not anymore. Her ghostly hand skimming the surface of his chest burning an invisible streak and making his skin pucker with goosebumps.

“Breath Murphy, just breathe”

“You weren’t there” he meant the Ark, and if he had to gather a thought in his panic, he was pretty damn sure this Clarke of his imagination that was guilting him knew exactly what he was talking about.

“You’re right I wasn’t” she said. He couldn’t focus on the sympathy in her eyes, it felt to real; but it was a promise he was used to, only it always ended with pain.

“I’m sorry…but, you weren’t there either. The ground was no place for a human after Praimfaya, not even the Commander of Death, and certainly not for a child—practically infant—nightblood”

What could he say to that, Madi at least didn’t deserve what happened in the valley or any of the war. She was a little bug that got caught in his hair and couldn’t get out. He saw the kid’s panic for her mother, the little quirks that were all Clarke.

The kid didn’t deserve the pain.

“But I did” Clarke whispered finishing his thoughts. “Though I did what I though I had to do to keep myself and my child alive”

He flinched away, this was getting weird, he wanted out. This was all just a figment of his imagination; Clarke was dead and gone so he shouldn’t need to deal with this anymore. He didn’t want to think about it. He _couldn’t _or else he’d find himself running into the ground.

“You did deserve it” he reaffirmed, but he could feel his heart wasn’t in it, he was numb to the woman.

“And do I not get a second chance? I gave you one. Hell, Murphy, I gave you more than one, but I gave you yours first…did that mean nothing?” she asked, almost amused but there was a sorrow he refused to think about.

“_Get out_” he growled, “get out of my head!”

Clarke sighed, pulling his head down easily despite the resistance he put up, but it was in vain. His body melted to her demand and he found himself on his knees bowing before the Commander of Death. It was always in vain when you go against Clarke Griffin.

Her arms wrapped around him and for a second he was washed with a surge of peace and comfort. Like no matter what he would survive anything.

And he could when he hid behind the great _Wanheda_, anyone could, but you never knew when she’d lash out behind and hit you.

Murphy found himself clinging to the ghost, his actions not of his own volition.

“You hate me” she stated.

“Shut up” It was a murmur that got swept away from the creaks of the old machine they were caged in; it was a wonder how none of them died simply from the ship degenerating down on top of them.

“You hat me for the same reasons you hate yourself”

“Shut UP!” His fist phased right through her, unlike her hands that brushed through his bangs, his hand went straight through and into the wall behind her splitting a knuckle.

His whole arm rattled with shot nerves.

“Maybe one day you will understand…” she kissed his forehead where his brows crinkled with pain.

“May we meet again”

He choked back a sob that he didn’t know he was holding. “Just, get out of here. _Please_”

Hands ruffled his hair as a big sigh caressed his face. When he got his breathing under control he looked up.

Clarke Griffin was gone.

…

He took deep breath, and pressed the release.

The hiss of the cryopod seemed to release some of the tension in his own body. Jordan didn’t know if this was the smartest choice of action, but he felt the need to wake the girl. All he could do now was wait and show her what he had on his tablet, thankfully he down loaded a copy from the cloud before, be it Emori or Raven, deleted the files.

He’d do what he thought was right and just see where the chips fall.

Jordan flinched involuntarily. The sight of Clarke seeming so peaceful once she accepted death was disturbing, he would go so far as to say she was relieved in the end.

He never got to ask her if all the pain was worth it in the end.

“Who are you”

Startled he took a step back, so lost in thought he didn’t notice the girl step up till she was practically on top of him.

“Uh—Oh! Hi” he shoved a hand out, nearly hitting the girl in the face. Madi’s eyes furrowed and snorted, but she did shake his hand. Jordan couldn’t blame her; he only had his parents and Clarke to interact with.

_Clarke…_

“I’m Jordan. Jordan Jasper Green, Monty and Harper’s son. I’m kind of like your cousin”

He chuckled lightly when the young girl’s eyes bugged out.

“Oh! Hey” her own awkwardness no doubt feeding off his own.

He could see her eyes darting around, the nervousness hidden extremely well, but she nibbled at her lips just like her mother.

Kneeling down on a leg he brought out his tablet. He looked her in the eye and prayed his own tears wouldn’t fall to hard.

“Madi, you’ve been asleep for a hundred and twenty-five years” The panic in the girl’s eyes hurt but he could understand, at least he knew what would happen when he went into cryo. He coughed to loosen up his chest,

“My parents decided to stay up, Earth became inhabitable so my father decided to work on breaking the Eligius files…and it worked”

“I’m sorry for your loss”

No Madi, he wanted to say, I’m sorry for yours.

“I’ll show you my father’s videos later but…”

He took a deep breath, this was ten times harder than what he thought it would be, days of practicing didn’t help. Nor did seeing the girl looking around and finding her mother’s pod not just empty but gone.

He wet his lips but before he could get anything out Madi had a hand up

“I’m sorry—really, but I need to find Clarke, she’s my _nomon. _I need—I just _need_ to find her okay. Make sure everything is fine”

The girl was glittery, and her eyes wouldn’t stop lingering where her mother’s cryo pod used to be.

“She promised to be here when we woke up, but no one else is up and Bellamy’s pod is empty”

“Madi”, he grabbed one of her shoulders and forced her to look at him. It was now or never, steeling himself he spoke before his cousin ran off or stopped him again.

“Madi, nothing is _fine_, I came here to tell you—your mother was” he sighed heavily into a sob, “I’m sorry Madi, I woke you to say your mother was killed”

He felt shattered and vulnerable when he learned—watched—Clarke’s death, he couldn’t fathom the pain Madi was going through right now; but what he did know was that he would do everything to make sure the kid would be alright. Just like his parents said, they needed to do better.

Hands shoved him in the chest pulling him from his thoughts, he laid sprawled on the ground his tablet skidding somewhere behind him.

“No, no! You don’t know Clarke, she doesn’t die. She _can’t_”

Oh, how I wish you were right Madi he thought, but your mother was the most human of us all.

Jordan tried to pull her in for a hug like Clarke would do him, but Madi just fought his arms off, backing herself into a corner.

“You lie, you’re _lying_” she hiccupped.

“No stop”

He moved closer to the girl who was curling into herself.

“No no no get away. Get away! You’re lying Clarke isn’t dead”

He pulled her to his chest and hummed that song Clarke sang to him when he had trouble falling asleep.

Hands pounded against him, hurt him, but eventually they eased as the child so young to lead fell apart at the seams.

Jordan sat down, cradling and rocking the cousin he wanted to meet as she clung to him. He just wished it was in better circumstances.

“Shushh, I got you Madi. It’s okay, it’s okay to cry” They were the words that centered him not long ago.

Eventually, the sobs subsided though the tears did not. Jordan was going to carry her when a hand pulled his collar down,

“How”

He looked to the girl, but all he saw was an unmatched rage in the girl’s eyes. Chills ran all over his arms and up his neck.

“Madi I think we should—”

“No, tell me” The leveled calm didn’t help ease the pit that was growing into his stomach. There would be hell to pay, that much he understood, he was just unsure how he would fathom the waters that he let loose.

But he didn’t regret his choice.

He leaned back, dragging the tablet against the floor; Madi leaned back against him practically snatching his tablet away when he brought it in front.

Jordan pressed play.


	5. Chapter 5

She wished she was floated without the metal sarcophagus.

Clarke thought the initial release into space was horrid, no it just banged her around a bit and gave her stomach a run for its money, tenderizing her for a bit before she started drifting endlessly.

Waiting was the worst part.

It was always the worst part for her.

For all Clarke knew she’d get stuck in orbit and die slowly, painfully, like she did the first days after Praimfaya.

She wondered where she’d start burning this time, the outside or the in.

Drops of blood drifted in front of her, its blackness almost indistinguishable from space save for the light of the moon that gave them a beautiful shine that blood had no right having.

The only plus side was the view.

Shivering Clarke leaned forward, carful of her head that took a few to many hits for her liking.

It really brought to perspective her insignificance.

Millions of years and these beautiful stars or planets just went along, doing their own thing; some quiet a dark illuminating in the rarest of times, others born of fire that seemed to burn on forever…she once thought she’d be like that.

Always burning, fighting.

It seemed she was going to get some rest.

Clarke couldn’t help but put a hand against the frigid glass,

“If only I could draw one more time”

Despite the situation her lips curled up, there was a maddening peace to being alone. Truly alone.


	6. Chapter 6

The serene look over Clarke’s face was the last thing they saw before the screen cut to black, the replay button mocking their reflections as they stared for what felt like hours.

_You couldn’t do anything_

Her head pressed back against the heaving chest behind her, a temp that seemed to match her own. Jordan could do nothing to halt their shuddering gasps.

“She wasn’t killed Jordan” Madi whispered.

“Mad—”

She cut him off with a shake of her head, hot tears flinging everywhere.

“She was murdered!” Her voice echoed out of the cold room and into the even colder halls.

Madi could feel the young man behind her nod. His own tears falling down onto her head, it was a rain of sorrow that both could understand.

“They killed her” he agreed. He didn’t know what Murphy and Raven were up to, but this wasn’t how his parents wanted things to go. And he sure as hell wasn’t going stop karma from kicking them.

“They need to pay” she whispered. Raven and Murphy had no right, not when they owed Clarke their lives ten times over, not when she blead and burned for them. Flashes of Clarke flowed forth from the tech in her head, of Clarke on the ground just days after she was shot down to die. Madi saw an injured Raven telling Clarke how to do something with wires, sees Murphy tied up and Clarke getting him free.

How did they get here? After all the stories, all the promises of one giant family in the valley after everyone returns…Madi could feel the protectiveness in Clarke grow through her time with the people on the ground, so how. Just how.

“Revenge won’t bring her back Madi, I’m sorry. Put them on trial and let justice take its course”

Arms held her tighter, whether they were for her comfort or his own, Madi didn’t know. Didn’t particularly care really. She couldn’t feel much of anything right now.

“Maybe” she stated evenly, calmly the way the flame showed Clarke in her glory against the mountain men. “But there will be no such acts again”

She would make sure. There was no honor in their actions, there was no fair fight, on chance for Clarke to defend herself. It was no battle, no struggle, it was a slaughter while Clarke was doing nothing more than hiding in the medical room.

Madi crawled out of Jordan’s lap and got up, she looked down at the young man that claimed to be her cousin, not of blood but bond. It was time to test his conviction that they were family.

“So are you going to sit there or are you going to help”

He looked contemplative, feelings easily readable in a person not attuned to war or strife.

Jordan looked at the hand extended before him and fallowed it all the way up to the bloodshot eyes, the haunted look on Madi’s face seemed to be permanently etched into her features.

Jordan nodded, “Your mother helped me, now I will return the favor…We do better”

He took the outstretched hand and Madi pulled him up. Sharing a nod, they left.

…

“You look like hell”

Raven glared at the male in front of her, two bowls of algae forgotten between the two of them.

“Shut up, besides…you don’t look much better”

Murphy sighed, crossing his arms and propping his head against the wall, “Yeah, well Wanheda kept her promise with the hauntings”

A sharp clip of her utensil hitting the tray stretched between them. The hairs on the back of her arm stood on end, stress from her nightmare was still in her system. Every corner seemed to hold a shadow and every door felt like it held a gun on the other side.

Murphy cracked an eye open at the sound and looked down at her spoon before looking into her own tired eyes.

“Guess that makes two huh”

Raven growled but didn’t say anything. _Couldn’t _say anything.

They sat quietly, picking away little scoops here or there of their food. The silence was defining, but there was a stagnant peace from when they first woke up. But it was peace.

When Echo and Emori joined them, they kept to the silence as if it was the only nail holding the space ship intact, and maybe in a way it was. A wave of unease washed over Raven’s gut, it was like they were all waiting for something to happen, like some sort of bomb to go off. For some sort of wire to be tripped.

For a spark to start burning their world down.

“Bellamy won’t leave medical” Echo stated, frowning down at the green goop before her. She could feel Emori glancing out of the corner of her eye. It wasn’t the subtlest of points she’s made for conversation.

“He’ll get over it eventually” Murphy muttered. Besides, Murphy thought, the man’s done it once before, he can do it again.

“John” Emori warned.

His lips curled back before Murphy found himself shooting out of his seat, and rage climbing his back, “No, Clarke died once before and he wallowed. He can do it again”

“It’s not the same” Echo glared.

“You’re right Echo, last time it was leaving a friend, this time it’s a traitor”

Echo’s jaw tensed, her teeth gnashing against one another. Clarke may be the one of her least favorite people but the sour taste in her mouth wasn’t something she could stop whenever she thought of the blonde and her death.

“She did right in the end” she defended.

“She didn’t stop the bombs”

Echo didn’t hear the screech of her seat or feel Emori’s hands trying to pull her back, all she felt was anger and if she was honest with herself, dread, as she held Murphy by the collar of his shirt.

None of them seemed to understand how precarious the situation has gotten. Bellamy was worse than he was before, and he’s been at a very _very_ low before. She feared what he’d do when they’d reach the ground and none of them were able to keep track of him like in the metal cell they were caged in now.

Besides, she saw how heda got when Clarke finally let her lead their people, and Madi was too much like her mother not to react in kind.

“She wasn’t the one who put a psycho in charge in the first place”

Murphy showed her that annoying half-grin half-snarl of his, but before he could say something that would bring the two of them to fisticuffs, the metal doors of the dining area burst open and slammed against the walls forcing them to listen to screeching echoes.

They all turned shocked.

Tear stained eyes glared at them with a hatred they’ve never seen in the girl before.

None were yet prepared to come face to face with Madi Griffin.

…

Jordan and her moved down the hall way with a purpose that had no goal in mind. They needed to avenge Clarke, hold a trial, and figure out how to get down to the moon-planet.

Madi had watched the video Jordan played to the rest, of the sacrifices his parents made and their hope for doing better.

It was a sick irony.

_“They need to pay”_

Madi halted at the voice, breath held as she strained her ears; but she couldn’t hear anything besides the light echo of Jordan’s heels scuffing against the metal floors.

Weird, no one else was woken up yet, besides Spacekru and them.

“Madi?” She jumped as Jordan appeared in front of her, concern littering his face as much as the stars littered space.

“Madi are you okay?”

She looked behind her down the endless hallway, only the hum of metal greeted her.

“Yeah…fine” The goosebumps still stood at attention on her arms.

Jordan frowned down at the younger girl, the situation was far from fine, but sometimes the only thing that can help is time and space.

“How about some algae” He could feel the emotional exhaustion taking its toll on him, Jordan was sure it was the same if not worse for Madi.

He grinned when the girl’s head snapped back with a grimace. He couldn’t blame her, they’ve heard the stories; besides, Clarke told of the valley were the food was so vibrant and filled with life. It would definitely be considered a down grade.

“No thanks” Madi’s nose scrunched up.

Jordan chuckled lightly.

_“He’s weak, but useful”_

Madi whipped around, but no one was there.

“Madi?”

_“You saw how they fought like cowards”_

“Madi, you’re spacing again, should you just go to bed”

“No!” Jordan flinched, hands against his ears.

She couldn’t help the fidgeting, “Sorry, but no. I’ve been asleep for over a hundred years; I don’t need more”

Jordan didn’t look convinced, but he just turned around talking about what he’d done with his parents and his hopes on what he’d find on the ground.

_“They’ll kill you next”_

It took everything in her for Madi not to round on the voice in her head, though it seemed different. Like it wasn’t one of the more recent commanders, maybe Gaia would—Gaia!—Madi was sure she could get Gaia to help with a trial and prepare her for being Heda.

“Hey, Jordan—”

_“No!”_ The voice roared, _“The Fleimkepa would do nothing but halt you in our goals”_

“Hmm” Jordan slowed down, his long legs easily propelling him along ahead of her. “What is it”

“I—”

_“Blood must have blood, your fleimkepa would do nothing to help avenge your mother”_

“uh…”

_“Do you really think the people who left your mother to float would let you take their own, even if it was for justice”_

Madi was skeptical, but the hollowness in her heart roared for justice against the wrong against Clarke.

She looked at Jordan who was waiting patiently with a smile, the aching in her chest increased. It was the kind of smile Clarke would give her, a genuine smile that held no veiled want.

“I…was wondering what your favorite story is”

The tired boy looked ecstatic, “Oh, I have many one time—”

Madi listened half-heartedly as she tried to wrap her head around everything. Clarke was gone, Murphy and Raven were the ones to kill her, Echo tired to help and Bellamy was _nowhere_ to be seen.

Her chest hurt and her head wouldn’t stop pounding

_“They killed her”_

_“Blood will have blood if you let it”_

_“They used your mother, now they’ll use you”_

_“They destroyed your valley, then your mother, what’s stopping them from destroying you”_

The voice wouldn’t stop, no matter how many times she shook her head or cleaned her ears.

…

Jordan continued to tell his own stories and the ones he’s been told, but he noticed the shift in the younger girl.

Something wasn’t right, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. She seemed on edge and agitated, and the closer they got to the dining hall, the wilder the look in her eyes seemed to get.

He needed to find a way to wake Abby and not have her relapse. Maybe Jackson…

Jordan had to halt his hand from hitting his face, he was so caught up that he didn’t think of waking the only other doctor left.

Good. At least he had a plan now.

Wake Jackson and then Abby, from there they can put a council together of all the leaders and hold a session.

They’ve survived to this point, now all they needed to do was keep their humanity.

A soft snarl brought his thoughts back to the girl who slowed down, _again_, he couldn’t make up what she was saying but she wasn’t happy; but when he turned back, she plastered a forced smile, Jordan could see how it didn’t reach her eyes.

By the time they were on the other side of the door he could hear yelling, more specifically Murphy.

“You’re right Echo, last time it was leaving a friend, this time it’s a traitor”

Jordan ignored the rest as he watched the mask that Madi held shatter to pieces, she snarled openly and burst through the doors with a kick he swore dented the metal doors.

Ignoring the hair standing on end on his neck, he took a breath and followed.

…

“You murdered Clarke”

No one said anything as the small figure took a step forward.


	7. Chapter 7

She was never awake for the full falling through atmosphere when she was first sent to die, hell her mother had drugged her.

Clarke was grateful for her mother now.

At first, she didn’t feel the pull, no she was looking at the stars and planets of this new solar system, enjoying the peaceful beauty.

It was slight. The tilting of her metal coffin turned her just that much forward that she didn’t have to strain her neck to see.

Then Clarke had noticed that the closest orbiting body seemed bigger, it wasn’t much latter that she realized she wasn’t going to have an agonizingly slow death filled with cold and starvation.

No, her death would be slow before it accelerates into nothingness. Her organs wouldn’t burn for water or nutrients, they’d burn from the inside and out as she gets dragged down, compressing till she was sent to the gates of hell.

The oxygen tanks near her feet rattled against their hastily made frames. Clarke’s mind started to work in over drive, should she try and unfree herself completely or should she try and stay tied in? Should she open the oxygen tanks to they don’t explode under pressure?

Was there any reason to even try anymore, on the ship was one thing but plummeting to the new ground was something else. She wondered if she was half as insane as Jaha, maybe if she was she’d survive this.

The metal around her creaked, making her heart spike in dread and fear.

Clarke tried to control her breathing, but she could feel herself falling now and there was nowhere to turn to avoid it.

More creaking crunched against her ears.

This was it this was how she’d die.

Alone.

Drag bumped her, shaking her like a maraca.

Her hand brushed against part of the metal.

“Aaagrhhh!”

Dark red and pink ran up her arm, the smell of burnt flesh was all too familiar with her.

It was getting to hot to breath, much less scream again.

Wanheda was born from fire and death, and from there she will die over again.

_Kom graun oso na groun op. Kom folau, oso na gyno op_


	8. Chapter 8

On the ground eyes watched the sky glow red with a single bright tear. A thunderous boom shook the air around them, all the way to the ground beneath their feet.

Shocked cries and gasps rippled through the people that swam like a school of fish. Children cried for their mothers as the dogs ran mad.

A man stepped out onto the terrace before his people, he had lost hope long ago for others to come from his old home. Instead he had forged a world in his own image, made of blood and steel.

The paper in his hand, a report from a commander about a signal detected not too far away from their world, crumpled in his fists.

“Get the scouts” his voice cut through the chaos.

Guards stumbled from their awe to complete their orders, tumbling over one another as they did their best to rip their eyes from the mass plummeting toward their ground.

With a rough estimate and protective gear, revving engines tore through the air kicking up dirt behind.


End file.
